Nightmare on Portland: Police Presence Cut to Just One Officer as Anti-Social Behaviour Runs Rampant

Portland's one and only cop is feeling the heat after residents of the island revealed their torment at the hands of yobbish behaviour. Islanders shared their tales of woe at a recent public meeting, citing street brawls, eggs raining down on their homes, and bottles being smashed as just some of the antisocial behaviour plaguing their neighbourhoods. What's worse, the local police presence has been slashed to just one solitary officer, and the community is feeling abandoned. Portland Mayor Pete Roper branded the situation "absolute madness," and even former copper Cllr Bernard Parkes is angry, stating: "You don’t police an area with a couple of policemen. We have got to get angry about it." In response, Dorset Police's Neighbourhood Inspector Shaz Cuff vowed to tackle the issue of antisocial behaviour but failed to comment on whether more police would be added to the force. Will the island ever be able to rest easy again? Only time will tell.